Trans & Queer Support: Advice for Caregivers & Parents
By Dr. Sam Simon (she/they), LCMHC-QS, NCC
Hello all, I’m Dr. Sam Simon and I am a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor for NC, as well as a Nationally Certified Counselor. I am the Clinic Director of Ellie Mental Health-Raleigh on Blue Ridge Rd., and have clinical experience working in hospital, outpatient mental health, and college counseling settings. I specialize in working with those in the LGBTQ+ community, especially those in the gender expansive community. I am an adjunct professor of Counseling and study wellness impacts on the counseling community.
The current political climate is demonizing and weaponizing trans and queer folks, especially kids, so it’s important as adults in their orbit that we give them the space and support they need when the weight of the world feels against them for existing.
While nurturing a safe and supportive environment for all kids is crucial for their mental health and wellbeing, it is especially important for trans and queer kids to feel heard, valued, and respected in their own respective identities. Research shows us that “39% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year — including 46% of transgender and nonbinary young people. LGBTQ+ youth of color reported higher rates than White peers” (The Trevor Project, 2024). The current political climate is demonizing and weaponizing trans and queer folks, especially kids, so it’s important as adults in their orbit that we give them the space and support they need when the weight of the world feels against them for existing.
I’ve found it helpful for parents and caregivers to have some key takeaways that will help in facilitating meaningful support for queer and trans youth:
Understand the difference between gender, sex, and sexuality
- Sex – This refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that define humans as male, female, or intersex. It is based on anatomy, hormones, and chromosomes (e.g., XX or XY).
- Gender – This is a social and cultural concept related to behaviors, roles, and identity associated with being male, female, or non-binary. Gender is influenced by societal norms and personal identity rather than just biology.
- Sexuality (Sexual Orientation) – This describes a person’s emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction to others.
- Essentially:
- Sex is biological.
- Gender is social and personal identity.
- Sexuality is about attraction and relationships.
Try and limit gendered assumptions
Instead of asking “do you like any boys in school?” instead ask “do you like anyone in school?” This shows a signal to the child that any person they like is “accepted” in the home.
Safe sex talks?
Include a diverse range of partnered sex and ways in which one can be safe. Visit Healthy Teen Network to get more info!
Be in the know
Know that there are a range of support for queer and trans kiddos if they were to need it. You can access the Trevor Project and the Human Rights Campaign, both having 24/7 support lines.
Support and be kind
Not just for your kiddo, but also for you. You may want/need support with this transition—and that’s okay! Here are some helpful resources:
Ask for help
- Counselors are available to help you, your family, or your kiddo with any support you may need. It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed when we don’t know how to best support our family and ourselves. You can find a therapist that will be there for you and your kiddo to have a safe space via Psychology Today.
- Ellie Mental Health-Raleigh is an inclusive and support space for all folks. We offer free 15-min consultations to talk through your needs and find you the “right fit” with a counselor. Reach out to us today at 919-877-6458, via email at EllieNC10101@elliementalhealth.com, or fill out our interest form and we will contact you!
About Dr. Sam Simon (she/they), LCMHC-QS, NCC. Dr. Sam Simon the Blue Ridge Road Clinic Director for Ellie Mental Health. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor (LCMHC) of North Carolina and a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC). Sam specializes working with the LGBTQ+ population, especially those in gender expansive communities. She works with a multitude of concerns including identity issues, anxiety, depression, life transitions, relationship concerns, and mood dysregulation. She works with those who are ages 16 and up. Sam comes from a person-centered, intersectional, holistic framework, incorporating CBT, DBT, somatic, and solution-focused practices. Sam is a queer and trans inclusive, culturally sensitive, trauma-informed, sex positive, poly-positive, pro-BLM, and fat-positive clinician who honors each intersectional identity of their client.
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