Ep.121 Your Body’s Not the Problem: Style Confidence w/ Camellia Jade

Show Notes:

Camellia Jade, a head stylist at Style Finder Boutique, discusses her Instagram series “Your Body’s Not the Problem. Your Clothes Are,” which empowers women to embrace their bodies through fashion. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and using clothing to enhance confidence rather than hiding perceived flaws. Camellia shares personal anecdotes about overcoming anxiety and the support of her loved ones. She advises women to try new styles, be vulnerable, and seek community support. Camellia highlights the role of self-talk and the impact of societal standards on body image, encouraging women to focus on feeling good in their clothes and to embrace their unique bodies.

• Camellia Jade’s Introduction and Background (0:01)
• Camellia’s Personal Story and Support System (1:37)
• Embracing Body Changes and Fashion Choices (5:46)
• The Power of Self-Talk and Positive Reinforcement (8:21)
• The Role of Clothing in Boosting Confidence (11:42)
• Common Fashion Mistakes and Overcoming Them (18:04)
• The Importance of Vulnerability and Community (25:27)
• The Role of Perfection and Self-Criticism (31:50)
• Final Thoughts and Gratitude (33:49)

Episode Notes and Resources:

HER Circle: https://www.herhealthcollective.com/membership

Style Finder: https://shopstylefinder.com/

Support Mama Needs a Moment! Become a patron through our Mama Needs a Moment Patreon.

TRANSCRIPT

Crissy  

On today’s episode, we are thrilled to have camellia Jade the head stylist at style finder boutique, where she and her team provide curated clothing and expert fashion advice for women 35 and up who want to look fabulous and feel confident. Camellia is the creator of the wildly popular Instagram series, your body’s not the problem. Your clothes are. Where she empowers women to embrace the bodies they have by teaching them how to dress for success. If you have not seen this series on her Instagram page, I highly recommend checking it out. It is not to be dramatic. It’s life changing. At style finder. Their mission is to help women feel confident and put together with ease in five minutes or less. Sign me up. I’m here for this camellia. We are so excited to have you with us today.

Camellia Jade  

Well, thank you. I’m so honored to be here, really, truly. This is, this is amazing. 

Cindi  

Well, you know, I haven’t seen it yet, and so I’m just putting that out there. And so now I’m like, gotta do it right after the this interview. I mean, you sold me on it. I’ve got to get on there. So I get to ask you something fun before we dig into, you know, more background, personal, business questions. So please pick a number between one to 15, and I will give you the corresponding question.

Camellia Jade  

Well, my volleyball number in college was 10, so I have to go with number 10. 

Cindi  

That’s so fun! Oh, I want to know more about playing volleyball. Who knows you best? 

Camellia Jade  

Oh, I think it’s going to actually be a tie between three people. I think it’s going to be my mom, my husband and my best friend. And the reason I say it’s a tie is because I think they all know me in different capacities. Sure, you know they. They each know how to deal with my as I like to call them special quirks in different ways. And a great example of that was I was out with a friend, and I had to meet up with my mom and my husband. Later, we were getting together. We had family in town, and there’s a big communication breakdown, and so I was getting very anxious. I was kind of snippy a little bit, you know, I told you we had to be here, and my friend had to go. And so my husband picked me up. He said, let’s get you some food. I said, we just had a snack. He said, “Well, I can’t tell,” my husband, you know. Got me my snack. And then my mom came and met us, and she was like, “I’m sorry you did say that.” And after, it was a funny coincidence, and I was a little snippy, but I was like, You know what? They both know that that’s not Camellia.  That’s just Camellia’s anxiety. And so I think the fact that they both know me so well to know, okay, let’s get her a snack. We’ll just like, say we need to do to get through this situation, and then we’ll have happy Camellia back. And so that was, that was a great example for me in an eye opening moment to be like, Wow, these two people really know me so well and know how to help me through moments when I’m very anxious, I’m very on edge, when things aren’t going according to plan, as they often don’t, and you need those people with you in those moments. And then same thing with my best friend. We went out and we were going to a show recently, we got dinner beforehand, and we had a problem getting cars. No one was coming to pick us up. I was getting very anxious, and she was just like, “You’re so funny when you’re anxious, you know?” I was like, No, the show is starting. We have to be there. And she called me. She’s like, “it’s okay, if the show starts, we’ll just watch the rest of it. “And she goes, “honestly, if we don’t even make it, I’m just happy to have the time with you.” And so it was great to see these little instances. And I was like, wow, these people know me so well. They can pick up on when I become very quiet, when I become very reserved, and they know how to help me through those difficult moments. But each in their own way, they each have their own relationship with me.

Cindi  

Doesn’t it feel so good when you have somebody that knows you and that they don’t take things personally, that they read your signals. It is. It’s great to have people in that capacity.

Camellia Jade  

Yeah, you need that. Because also you need people who recognize that when you are in these anxious moments, that’s not who you are, that’s just your reaction to where you are in that moment. And if they know that you are a planner and you don’t like when things are not according to plan, they know camellia does not like surprise dinners, you have to tell her where we’re going. She has to look at the menu. She has to know what the dress code is. As long as I have those information right, you can it can be any restaurant, but I have to be like, Okay, it’s Asian, it’s upscale, and here, you know there’s going to be options for you, because I just, I don’t really like not knowing. And so to have those people who know how to work with you in those instances, I think is, is very special.

Crissy  

Yeah, yeah, you have to be prepared. It’s funny, as you were talking, I feel you on the hangry. Piece I remember in college, my roommates and friends all, I think it was a Snickers commercial where, yes, they all told me, I should be on the snickers commercials. I should be like the spokesperson for the snickers commercials.

Cindi  

That’s classic.

Camellia Jade  

You become another person. It’s crazy,

Crissy  

yes, yeah. So true. My daughter’s she’s seven, and I can see it in her already. It’s like, it we actually had an episode this morning where she didn’t have her normal chocolate protein milk drink and she hadn’t eaten, and we were just butting heads. And it was a really rough morning. And then I was like, I’m gonna get you something to eat. And it was like my angel came back to me. Well, on that note, I would love to dive into our discussion about women’s bodies and how we can feel good and confident and the clothes that we choose to wear. So how can women, especially moms, whose bodies have gone through so much change probably doesn’t feel like their own anymore. In a lot of ways, things that they used to love about themselves might not be the same. How can they embrace the bodies they have now through their fashion choices?

Camellia Jade  

So I will just share what has helped me the most. And really, the reason that I started this whole series is because I saw how seeing other women normalize their bodies affected me, and I wanted to be able to do that for other women, and working in fashion and working with women one on one, I have seen women who have come in through many ages and stages of Life, and their body has changed for many reasons, whether it is childbirth, whether it is menopause, whether it is having a sickness where you have to take medication that affects your body, or just different life stresses, going through trauma of maybe taking care of a sick loved one, and you’re not taking care of yourself. And so your body changes, and it’s only different from what you knew. But I think that’s the biggest thing to remember, is some people have seen your body change, but there are a lot of people who only know you where you are right now, and those people don’t love you for your body that you had. They love you for the body that you have right now. And so I would say the biggest thing that has helped me and that I think would help others, is to find that inspiration online of those influencers that are sharing their real bodies for whatever stages life has brought them through, and if it’s someone who is a mother, specifically, I think that is fantastic, but just anyone who has gone through difficulties, I find a lot of fitness influencers who have battled body image issues and things that go along with that, that they’ve come out on the other side, right, sharing the belly, sharing the cellulite, sharing the stretch marks. The more that we see that, and the more we normalize that in our view and our perception, then I think we are not as hard on ourselves. So that’s one aspect. And then again, through social media, which you know, social media can be good and bad in so many different ways. One of the things that has helped me the most, I have a tummy consideration. I talk about that all the time online. Then I have roles. What has helped me is seeing all these videos of women saying, wait a minute. If you look at all these Renaissance paintings and all these ancient statues, all of those women who were worshiped, all of those Goddesses, they all have those roles. And these were women who were worshiped, and we think that they are beautiful and their bodies have roles. And so if we take that, and I started to tell myself, so if you I have belly rolls, I’m like, Oh, well, they’re kind of cute. I purposely will sit in the mirror after a workout, you know, my sports bra and my shorts, and I’ll sit curved over I’m like, Oh, they’re kind of cute, and maybe I change the way that I look. So that way it’s more appealing, but I still have the roles, and so that way I can appreciate it more. So I think the best way to get over those insecurities and learn to love your body where it is is we can’t hold on to the past and what our body was, but look at our body for where it is and find how you can take those negatives and turn them into positives, or see them in another manner. And it’s very hard to do. It is not easy. It’s a challenge, and you might not be ready to do that with your clothes off, but you can start to appreciate what’s underneath. When you work on the outside, I always say fascia is not a fix, but it is a band aid to start to heal the wound that’s on the inside. So, so powerful.

Crissy  

I think first thing I want to note, and this is something I love from your Instagram page, is your use of the word can. Consideration area. It’s not a flawed area. It’s not a trouble spot. You’re not picking up it apart in any way. It’s just the consideration area. And I noticed that immediately when watching your Instagram videos, is your use of that so I commend you on that choice. I think that that’s really powerful. It gets at this idea of the power of our words and how we talk to ourselves and the things we say, both to ourselves and others. So I absolutely love that. I’m going to try to work that into my own vocabulary and how I talk to myself and others, my consideration area. I like that. Yeah. And the other thing that I really noted as you were talking is the power of self talk, the way that you speak to yourself, how after your workout you look in the mirror and look at the roles and you know, hey, they’re actually kind of cute. Or look at these statues and these paintings and how these bodies were revered in times past. And it’s so true, like society at large is what tells us what is in vogue or in fashion, or the thing that we’re all striving for, and if we go through any different decade or generation, there has been a different ideal. And who gets to decide whether my body is the ideal or not? Nobody. Screw that. It’s me. It’s my body, and I’m gonna appreciate it and love it for what it is. So I really love that. So thank you for sharing all of that with us. One of the things we focus a lot on is choosing the right clothing. One thing I’ve noticed you do a lot, at least in the few videos since I’ve started stalking you online, is that you know you have a skirt if your tummy is your consideration area, which raising my hand right now, that’s me. If your tummy into your consideration area, and you have your skirt down low, then the waistline down low, then that’s going to not be as flattering in your clothing. And if you pull the waistline, the hemline up higher, then it just offers that covering. And then you do layers. The layer piece is really, really awesome, too. And I see the transformation in your video. It’s awesome. So talk to us a little bit about that magic, because it is kind of magic. It’s kind of fun to see happen. How does the right clothing transform the way we feel about ourselves, regardless of size or shape? I’m thinking specifically of the video where you have the black dress and you put the gold belt on, and then that awesome jacket and your boots and you were just a total vibe. So how does that change how you feel about yourself, regardless of the size or shape that we are, it can transform. So talk to us a bit about that. 

Camellia Jade  

Yeah, that video specifically, I felt amazing, and I think that really transcended through the camera. And so I really try to find the balance between using some style tips and tricks for different body shapes, but also not making that the main focus. Because my theory and my personal preference, there’s always an evolution, you know, in style and in your own personal journey. And while I used to focus a lot more on the body shapes, because I think that can serve an immediate concern and an immediate need, however, I don’t want to focus on that too much, because at the same time, if we go by these rules, it can pigeonhole us, it can cause more stress and anxiety, And then it can also cause us to really analyze our bodies, almost to a negative manner of, oh, I’m a pear shape, so I have to wear this. I can’t wear that. It doesn’t work my body shape. That’s not going to look good. If you feel good in what you’re wearing. It does not matter if it is the right color for you, if it’s the right shape for you, if it’s the right silhouette for you, all of that kind of fades to the background because you feel powerful and you feel amazing. And to throw out an example, there was a woman that came in when we had our storefront, and she was trying on this top. She had olive skin, she had this beautiful kind of red brunette hair, and she tried on this hot pink top. And in my eye, as a fashion stylist, the color was very much clashing with her natural features. However, her smile when she came out of the fitting room, and the way that she looked and the way that she presented herself in that top was better than any other top that she had put on. So I was not going to be the one to say actually, that’s not the best for you, because, in my personal opinion, that was the best top for her, because that was the top that made her feel beautiful. So that is the top for her. So that’s kind of my theory, and that is what I want to do through this series, is talk about those consideration areas. And I use different terms. I can’t take full credit for using consideration area. I did learn that from Mary Michelle here at style finder. She was the first one that I heard really use that term, conceal your consideration areas. It’s just a nicer term, but I also will use other terms, right, like areas you feel self conscious, how to camouflage? Because some people that will resonate more if they have that immediate pain. I want to be able to help all women. And throughout their entire journey. So I’ll focus on a few consideration areas or areas where people feel self conscious. And through this series, someone recently said, I have big hips and thighs. Can you help me hide them? So then I change the series a little bit. So yes, we’re talking about hiding your hips and thighs, but that is just a small part of creating the overall outfit, and how does the outfit help you feel amazing? So for me, it’s really finding that fine balance of yes, we have our consideration areas that we want to work around and we want to feel amazing, but also it’s about the style. And when you have the style in the forefront, again, even if it’s not the right color, it’s not the right silhouette. You look and feel amazing. And then those consideration areas, they start to fade to the background. And as you become more confident, you can wear the things that are outside of your style comfort zone. And for me, it’s been amazing to see the women who I do work with in the few personal style sessions that we do here at our warehouse, and they come in and they say, I’m not wearing the flowy clothing anymore and hiding I’m actually wearing items that are fitted to my body because I know that that is actually going to look better. I have more style. I have more confidence when I wear something that is more fitted, which is not something you would assume a petite, plus size woman would say, oftentimes in the past, you know, and we’ve been told we have to hide ourselves, but now she’s wearing the body skimming tops. And even today, I have a dress on, and it’s a body skimming dress. And I always have a little bit of a pooch that sticks out. I have my third layer, but I think for me, it’s I have to practice what I preach. And so I’m like, You know what? I have a uterus. I’m always going to have that. I feel good. It’s a great color for me. I feel cute, I feel chic, I feel can. I can move around like so again, that takes top priority over Oh, is this the most flattering? When you feel good, all those other things start to fade to the background. And when you put the time and effort and energy into putting together an amazing outfit, even when you have a bad body image day, you can get the most compliments even when you’re not really feeling yourself that morning.

Crissy  

Yeah, I absolutely love that. When you shared the story of the woman with the pink shirt, I actually got a little tear prickles behind my eyes, because I feel like we’ve all had that feeling right where maybe it is a bad body image day, but we just happen to put something on and girl, you are feeling yourself, and you just, you know, like you exude that confidence. And how does that change everything? Like I know when I’m feeling that way, when I have a good outfit on, or I feel really confident, and maybe it’s not my right color hue or whatever, but it just I feel good in it. I’m more likely to smile confidently and say hi to a stranger, or, you know, start a chipper conversation. It really does change how you show up in the world that day. So I could feel what that woman felt. I could feel, you know, like, yeah, so I just, I loved that for her and for you, recognizing that, you know, the power of that woman’s smile and that she was definitely feeling herself in that moment. And that’s really what it is about, is how you feel. And I did hear you mention a couple consideration areas that people have come to you to ask about. I immediately think of Tommy, because that’s my own personal consideration area, and I know that you talk about that quite a bit for yourself. And then you mentioned someone that mentioned their hips and their thighs feeling like they need flowing dresses or outfits. What are some common fashion mistakes that you see women make when they’re trying to hide or fix their bodies? I miss the trend where we wear skinny pants with like a baggy or top, because I felt like it hit my belly. I really like that trend, and I wanted to come back. So how can we shift our mindset, basically, to get rid of those ideas of fashion mistakes. 

Camellia Jade  

You know, I think it’s so hard when you try to do it by yourself, and so I think that’s the first thing to keep in mind, if you can find someone to help you through this, whether it is a personal stylist or a community, we have built an amazing community on Facebook, and our ladies are posting pictures there. They’ll post selfies, and they’ll say, hey, how does this look? How does this fit? Do these colors go together? So that is an amazing community. What I have found through my one on one style sessions is a lot of these women just need someone to give them permission, to say it’s okay to try on that top that you really like, because we just tell ourselves no. So I think that’s the biggest thing. Is not to tell yourself no or to be afraid to try something on that you really like, because, again, my theory is there are no no’s in fashion. If you like something, you can usually find a way to make it work. 90% of the time. There are some things that are just you’re like, you know what? This isn’t for me. But I think it’s also when it doesn’t work. You have to understand, I like to say not all clothes were made to fit every body, but every body can find the right clothes. So when something doesn’t work for you, it’s not because it’s not for your body. It was made for a different fit model. And think about it, out of all of the literal billions of bodies on the planet, do you think everyone can wear the same thing? Do. And look amazing. No. So that’s why there are so many different types of clothing out there. I think the biggest fashion mistake that I would see is probably people just trying to hide, wearing the really big baggy top, wearing the flowy dress with the flowy kimono. You’re just trying to hide everything and nothing is being accentuated. And I have women, and they come to me in the comments and they say, I have big arms, I have a big bust, I have a big belly, I have big hips, I have big cats. Like, everything is just big. There’s nothing about themselves. But they are like, Hey, I love this, and I see that, and that’s hard. And for those women, I try to talk them through. You know, obviously it goes deeper than just saying, Hey, I don’t really like this part of my body. There’s a lot more to that, and that’s part of what I love about what I do as well, is it’s not just putting clothes on a body. It’s changing someone’s life and their perspective about themselves. But I think just not being afraid to get outside of your style comfort zone and try new things, and the first time you try something new on, whether it’s a new silhouette or a new style, it can be really scary. It can be really intimidating. But if it’s not like an immediate No, I like to tell people, well, let’s live in this a little bit. And so what I mean by that is, if you’re trying on a new style of pant, which is usually what it is when I say, hey, let’s live in this a little bit. Whether it’s a new color, a new fabric, a new silhouette, let’s try some different tops on. It’s kind of like a shock to the system. And I always compare this to the first time I had a breakfast burrito. My brain was like, scrambled eggs, tortilla. No, these don’t go together, right? But it’s a common thing. A lot of people will eat it, but for my first time I could not enjoy because my brain was like, does not compute. And so for women, we develop this inner voice, whether it comes from us, from social media, from, you know, marketing, from years ago, whether it comes even from our parents. Sometimes I’ve worked with women who have said that their moms have said, Oh, this doesn’t work for you or a relative, or someone that they look up to has said, no, this doesn’t work for you. And so we have made up our own rules of what works and what doesn’t work. And so we need someone else to think those roles aren’t real. You know, you’ve made those up. So get outside of your style comfort zone, and if it is a shock to your system, live in it a little bit. If it’s not an immediate No, because it’s not the right fit. Or you’re just like, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is too much. Try some different tops on, try some different combinations. See that it can work for you. And sometimes, even after we live in an item, we still decide we’re like, yeah, I don’t know if I’m ready for it, and that’s okay, but at least you’ve given it a try. Think the biggest thing is women just don’t give themselves the opportunity to try what they really want. And there are a lot of people that I’ll pull something and they say, Oh, I saw that, but I put it back on the rack because I didn’t think I could wear that, or I didn’t think I could pull it off, or I thought that was too much for me. And so we default to what we think is safe, and that is what makes us feel hindered, instead of wearing what we really want and bringing out that inner confidence, and as you mentioned, when you feel better about yourself, I like to say you’re a better person. For other people, you had your the best version of yourself for your family, for your kids, right? If you want to be a better mom, take care of yourself, because when you’re happy with the way that you look and the way that you feel, you’ll be a better mom for your kids.

Cindi  

I love the messages that you’re giving where it’s not about hiding your higher consideration areas, it’s about working with them. And something you said before, it was about when the women come in and they’re like, I’m too big here, I’m too big here, I’m too big here. And what made me almost feel angry was that we are conditioned to think that bigger is bad, and that’s not the case. We are told through society as women to shrink and once we’ve shrunk down, then all right, you’re there, you’re you’ve got it. No no. Take up space. Take up space and just embrace every ounce of who you are. My consideration area is my stomach, and sometimes my kids being kids, they’ll be like, Mom, you’ve got a role right here. And then they’ll like, poke in and be like, yes, because you grew in there, and I made humans and, you know, just trying to think of ways that my body supports me, because I have, in all honesty, had battles with my body over the years wanting to change it and shift it, and I’m mad that I wasted that time. So I love the Instagram series name that you have, so your body’s not the problem your clothes are. And you had talked about this where there’s all different types of clothes for all different types of bodies, and I think that that’s a message that fails to get out there. It’s people pick up something and they expect it to just look good on them. Right? And when it doesn’t, they’re like, I’m the failure. I’m what’s wrong. I need to change this to fit better into this. When the case is no, it could not be good quality. It might say that it’s a size eight. But sizes over the years have changed. So many things have changed over the years. So all of the messaging that you’re giving is just making me kind of sparkle inside, like, Oh my gosh. I love spreading this message to our community. It’s just it’s so important. Something else that you do in your series is that you make a point to show up vulnerable and real, which is huge. It’s huge because a lot of times I do this, I’m kind of generalizing here, but I think a lot of people look at at women or someone on social media that might be an influencer, such as yourself, and they say, Oh, they don’t have anything wrong. They’re perfect. No, you’re showing moms and you’re showing people out there. Okay, I have these areas that I pay attention to, that I consider areas I’m not super confident in, but look, this is what I’m doing. So you’ve shared that you get uncomfortable. You show your own body as a way to normalize, quote, unquote, normal bodies, which, of course, there isn’t any what’s the response been like for your followers through all of that?

Camellia Jade  

Yeah, it’s been, it’s been incredible. And you kind of hit the nail on the head as to why I started the series is because my channel has always been a source of I like to call it inspiration and education. I want to share the style education and as well as the style inspiration, and through my previous videos, if I did something like, Hey, here’s a style tip on big size, I would have people comment, and they would more or less say, Well, who are you to share this information? Well, you’re skinny, well, you’re a size six. I’m like, No, I’m a size 10. And so I actually did a video where I shared my measurements to let people know I’m not lying. I’m not making this up, but we all view the world through our own lens. And I think for those women who really are struggling with Body Dysmorphia or discomfort within their own body, it’s easy for them to project and see, oh, well, she looks amazing. I mean, yes, I do in my clothes, but it’s because I know how to put together a great outfit, and I do struggle, and I am also very, very self critical. I mean, I have realized as an adult how much I’ve struggled with anxiety and and depression and being very, very mean to my own body and to myself. And so a few things, I feel like I cannot preach self love if I don’t practice it. And so this is a way for me to really combat a few things. One people saying, well, what gives you the validation to talk about these things? I think there’s something to be said for seeing an outfit and seeing someone literally build an outfit from scratch, and what you said earlier. People see an outfit and they then they wonder why it doesn’t work for them. And this is I kind of have, like, my own personal little like, ooh, against influencers, because they’re like, Hey, here’s an outfit for this and for this, and for this and for this. And yes, that’s great inspiration, but there’s no education. So when you buy that dress and you think it’s supposed to lay on you the same way that it lays on her, it is not going to look the same, but you haven’t learned anything. You just felt bad about yourself because it doesn’t look the same way that it looks on her and a lot of these influencers, I mean, they do have really great bodies, and so there’s nothing wrong with that. There are women who want just that inspiration, but there are a lot of women who also need that education as well. And so that is what I’ve tried to do with the series, is talk through why I’m putting these pieces together. So it’s a little bit of both, right, that education, but also that inspiration, because I don’t want us to focus too much on the body shape, to where we spiral and we get into this hole of like, I can only wear this, and I can’t wear that, and we don’t try anything, because the magic happens when you put an outfit together. So you can put on clothes, or you can create an outfit. When you put on clothes, you’re just going to feel okay. When you create an outfit, that’s when you’re going to feel amazing. And I have found that through being vulnerable, it has led to my own personal victories. And so that’s kind of my theme, vulnerabilities leading to victories, because I found that this is also an amazing way to build community, to start conversation and to build connection, because people see me through a lens, and while I think a lot of people have felt that they’ve connected with me through the lives or through the videos, I think this series, your body’s not the problem. Your clothes are. Literally stripping down. Being on camera has really broken down as many virtual barriers as you can. I mean, how much more vulnerable can you be than standing in a room practically naked with a camera on? And if you think about it, you know, I thought about the other day, some people literally have nightmares about like getting on stage in their underwear, and that’s essentially what I am doing every day. If you watch the series, I have noticed the way that I talk and act when I am just in my skivvies is completely different. The way that I talk to the camera now is completely different, because I have been able to build the confidence. When I started the series, it was very scary. I just put myself out there. And it’s also very scary because I’m helping women, but it’s also my family members and my friends who know me that are seeing everything. And I walk into a room now at a conference and I’m like, half these people have seen me in my underwear. You know that’s really scary, but I have found that through being vulnerable, it has built so many more connections, and I think you can take that, not just with what I do, but with anything in life. When you are vulnerable, when you take that next step, whether it is leaving a job and starting your own business, or whether it is learning a new skill or a hobby, you’re always bad at first, you’re vulnerable to tack to self criticism, more so from yourself than anyone else. Also becoming a mom is very vulnerable. You have no idea what you are doing. You are stripping away all of your comforts of just living for you, and now you’re responsible for another human being. So I think when we are vulnerable and we take chances, and if you can relate that, and I challenge everyone to think about a moment in your life. Moment in your life when you were vulnerable. You tried something new, you did something scary. How you came out on the other side, probably you were a better person. You were a more confident person. You accomplished a goal. So think about what’s holding you back now, and how will you feel when you get to the other side of that.

Cindi  

I think my closing remark for this particular section of our conversation is about the word perfection, and I feel, personally, that perfection is one of the words that causes the most hindrance in our lives, because we are seeking perfection when it doesn’t exist. I mean, it’s not there, whether we’re looking for it with our bodies or we’re looking for it with our eating, or we’re looking for it with our parenting or in our jobs. It’s not fair, and I think that it causes a lot of people to not excel the way that they want to, or not embrace their lives the way that they want to, because they’re seeking that perfection. And what you’re doing by being vulnerable and real and showing yourself and teaching moms these or in everyone these lessons, is that perfection should not be part of our vocabulary, essentially. So thank you so much for all that you’re doing in that area.

Camellia Jade  

Yeah, and I think the biggest thing to remember at the end of the day is we are always so self critical to ourselves. But if you think as a mom like who are you living your life for it should be one yourself and second, right your family and your children, and in the eyes of your children, you are perfect. You are their superhero, no matter what you look like or what you are doing day to day. You know, when I was a child, I always looked up to my mom. I thought she was perfect. She knew everything. And one time, I asked her 1,000,001 questions, why, why? Why? And she said, Why do you keep asking me why? I said, well, because you’re the smartest person I know, and how am I going to learn if I don’t ask you why? And that was just my story, but I think for all children, they view their moms as superheroes. And in the eyes of your children, you are perfect, and so just keep that in the back of of your mind, that in their eyes, you are the most beautiful person. That is absolutely beautiful. 

Crissy  

Thank you so much, Camellia. This was a phenomenal conversation, and as Cindy said, what you’re doing is is so, so important. Thank you for sharing with us. Well,

Camellia Jade  

Thank you so much for having me and allowing me to share more of my message. And I just think it’s so important, and we just have to surround ourselves with the women who are positive and the women who are encouraging, because there’s always going to be a message out there saying that you are not enough, no matter what it is, you’re not smart enough, you’re not pretty enough, you’re not skinny enough, but you are it starts with changing your inner dialog and having a community around you is the best place to start.

Crissy  

Absolutely. Yay. Love it.