Exploring Maternal Identity Development

At different points in our lives, the way we think about who we are shifts in important and major ways. Roxanne Rosenberg, LCMHC, PMH-C is Co-Founder and Clinical Director of Anchor Perinatal Wellness. In this post, she discusses maternal identity development.

By Roxanne Rosenberg, LCMHC, PMH-C

Identity Development

Hi, I’m Roxanne Rosenberg, co founder and clinical director at anchor perinatal wellness. I’m going to be talking about maternal identity development today.

 

At different points in our lives, the way we think about who we are shifts in important and major ways. For example, as toddlers, we start to see ourselves as unique individuals with unique wants and needs. In adolescence, we revisit our identity based on our experiences and feedback from others.

 

And another one of these identity shifts that doesn’t occur at a set age is motherhood, and it’s one that we don’t often talk about. But when a person becomes pregnant, they usually start the psychological process of developing a new part of their identity, and maternal or parental part. This might happen consciously or in the background.

If we can arrive at birth with a flexible values based sense of our maternal identity, we have a great chance of developing a healthy mother baby relationship and a confident approach to parenting.

The Process of Developing a Maternal Identity

The process involves sifting through our maternal or parental role models, as well as our experiences of being cared for. We select those pieces that we want to incorporate in our identity, and we reject pieces that are not aligned with our view of motherhood.

 

During this process, we may ask ourselves, what type of Mother Do I want to be? Which people are behaviors do I admire and want to replicate as a mother? What behaviors and beliefs do I not want to replicate or want to avoid as a mother.

 

This process typically takes the full length of pregnancy and the goal is to arrive at birth with a coherent sense of our identity as a mother. Our identity can continue to evolve after birth. But the internal work we do during pregnancy sets us up for a smoother transition to motherhood. This is the ideal progression during pregnancy.

Things That Can Get In the Way of Identity Development

However, there are things that can get in the way of developing our maternal identity. For example, for those of us whose parents did not meet our needs in childhood, the process of reflection can be very painful, and we may abandon it for our emotional survival.

 

Current stressors like depression, anxiety, trauma, and major life events can also be barriers, leaving little mental space for the psychological work. Sometimes our desire to meet everyone else’s expectations of what a mother is, Can muddy who we truly want to be as a mother.

 

Luckily, it’s never too late to start. Being aware of the importance of maternal identity development is the first step. From there we can check in often with ourselves and seek additional support if we’re feeling lost or overwhelmed by identity questions, maternal mental health specialists can assist you with this important process. And our team at anchor perinatal wellness is here as a resource for all North Carolinians.

 

If we can arrive at birth with a flexible values based sense of our maternal identity, we have a great chance of developing a healthy mother baby relationship and a confident approach to parenting.

Roxanne Rosenberg is a licensed clinical mental health counselor (LCMHC) with a certification in perinatal mental health (PMH-C). She is one of the founders of Anchor Perinatal Wellness, a new perinatal mental health resource in Raleigh. In addition to supporting pregnant and parenting people for over 15 years, she chaired the NC chapter of Postpartum Support International from 2018-2022. Roxanne is a proud bicultural Miamian, is fluent in Spanish and speaks some Portuguese. She lives with her partner and two children in Raleigh. Roxanne also enjoys dancing, traveling, and nerding out on the latest developments in perinatal mental health. 

 

Website link: www.anchorperinatal.com

Social handles: www.facebook.com/anchorperinatal

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