Hi, I’m Dr. Charryse Johnson, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and the founder of Jade Integrative Counseling and Wellness. Over the years, I’ve worked with dozens, maybe hundreds of moms and there’s one statement that every one of them has made. There’s not enough time, and when I don’t get everything done that I truly desire, I feel like a failure.
That’s a great example of all or nothing thinking, the part of us that lives in the land of black and white. We’re either doing all well, or we feel like everything is falling apart, but there’s another way!
It’s called partial progress.
Let me give you an example. Have you ever been part of a campaign where you’re raising funds or collecting something for your kids at school? Say cans at Thanksgiving and you create some kind of graphic, like a pie chart or a thermometer. As you see it fill up, you’re excited about the progress. The kids go by it every day and come home, and they say, mom, dad, look, it’s almost full! That’s a beautiful way of looking at our effort and being able to affirm the progress over perfection.
Well, partial progress is something that would be amazing in the lives of moms. So, what would that look like? At the end of the day, you might have a list of things that you wanted to do. Inevitably you have a few things that you checked off and then you also have a whole set of things that you didn’t get a chance to do.
Our focus on all or none can be focused on what we didn’t accomplish, believing that we should be better. We should be more disciplined, but not acknowledging everything that we did accomplish. And there’s likely several items that you didn’t put on the list that you actually took care of every day.
My challenge and encouragement to you is take the next two weeks. As many times, as you can remember, sit down at the end of the day and practice showing gratitude for what you have done, looking at your partial progress. Looking at the things that you seek to do and accomplish that you’re working on little by little and remember progress over perfection is the way to affirm all that you are and all that you desire to be as a mom.
Dr. Charryse Johnson is an experienced licensed clinical mental health therapist offering over 20 years of experience serving as a counselor, consultant, and educator. She holds a B.A. in Human Development, an M.A. in Professional Counseling, and a PhD in Counseling Psychology. She is a strong community advocate and has been a contributor on local radio, social media, local news outlets, and documentaries and is passionate about reducing the stigma around mental health. She is founder and owner of Jade Integrative Counseling and Wellness.
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