Sunny Side Up Nutrition Feeding Framework
By Anna Lutz, MPH, RD/LDN, CEDS-S & Elizabeth Davenport, MPH, RD
Do you feel confused and overwhelmed when it comes to food in your home? There is so much information out there about how and what to feed your children. We know that it’s hard to try to wade through all the noise around food, nutrition, and weight and to try to figure out how to feed your kids in a stress-free way.
We are Registered Dietitians who specialize in eating disorders and pediatric nutrition, and we are also moms. Through our work, in our practices, and in our homes, we see a theme of stress and fear around feeding kids that gets in the way of children eating well. This stress is created by food and weight messages from our culture and from healthcare providers, family members, and friends. And sadly, this stress and pressure is then felt by kids who are learning the developmental skill of eating.
Once we identified this trend, we knew our focus needed to be on supporting parents in decreasing worry about feeding their children. If parents can be grounded and supported, then their children can feel grounded and supported, which translates to better eating.
With over 20 years of experience each, we’ve been supporting parents to trust themselves and their children to eat well. Parents feel a sense of relief when they are given the support, information, and skills to no longer worry. When families create peaceful mealtimes, we see that children are then able to make changes in their eating, whether that is trying and accepting more foods or tuning into the signals their bodies are telling them.
If parents can be grounded and supported, then their children can feel grounded and supported, which translates to better eating.
Our Feeding Framework Supports Parents
To support parents, we have created the Sunny Side Up Feeding Framework, which gives parents simple guidance for raising confident eaters in our diet-centric society. Our feeding framework offers tips to simplify feeding children and supports confident eating for you and your family. There is not one way to feed a child. Each family, parent, and child is different. This framework is designed to offer you support and guidance but without the rigid rules grounded in diet culture.
You’ll notice our framework isn’t about what you feed your child but rather about how to approach feeding so you can best support your child in eating well. Consider this a guide or touchstone to anchor yourself as you respond and adjust to what you and your family need.
- Support yourself in making feeding less stressful.
Supporting yourself is the first step. As they say on airplanes, you must put on your own oxygen mask before you put on your child’s. In the feeding framework, by supporting yourself, you lay the groundwork for supporting the ongoing feeding relationship with your child. If you feel supported and grounded, your child will feel more grounded when it comes to food. What do you need to feel less stressed about food? Support could be:
- sharing the food shopping duties with a partner or order groceries online
- sitting somewhere different at the table
- giving up some of your food rules or demands you put on yourself about meals
- talking with a professional about food and nutrition
- Foster a positive mealtime environment.
Mealtimes can be stressful. As parents, we’re often scrambling to get everyone fed and out the door or into bed. Instead of worrying about what food you are going to serve, spend some time only focusing on how to make mealtimes less stressful. You can lay the foundation for less stressful mealtimes with these 3 tips.
- Consider first what YOU need at meals as a caregiver to be present and able to connect with your family.
- Consider what each family member needs to feel as safe and settled as possible at the table.
- Avoid difficult conversations or talking about what people are or aren’t eating at the table.
Family meals are important and can be any meal or snack. You don’t have to have a sit-down dinner every day.
- Trust yourself. Trust your child to eat and grow.
There’s almost constant noise from diet culture telling us we can’t trust ourselves and to be afraid that if we don’t feed our children in some “perfect” way, we won’t meet their nutritional needs, and they won’t grow the way they’re meant to. You’re made to feel that you need to feed your children in a way that prevents them from having a larger body. This is our reminder to you that you can trust yourself to feed your children in a responsive and supportive way, that children are born intuitive eaters, and that you can trust your child to eat and grow well.
- Trust that your child will eat what their body needs.
- Trust that your child will progress in their developmental eating skills.
- Trust that your child’s body will grow the way it’s meant to.
- Respond to your child’s personality, cues, and abilities.
The negative effects of diet culture interfere with a parent’s ability to respond to their child. Responding to your child fosters autonomy, connection, and trust. If, as parents, we follow the mainstream feeding advice that it’s our job to GET our child to eat certain foods, we’re not responding to the individual child. We’re reacting to pressure from fear-based messaging. Here are reminders to support you in responding to your child.
- When it comes to situations that are not food-related, is your child more cautious, sensitive, energetic, anxious, or adventurous?
- Your child’s age, temperament, and personality often determine how they approach food.
- If your child is neurodivergent, consider what supports and accommodations are helpful to them in other settings that can be applied to eating.
- Model a positive relationship with food and body.
Last but certainly not least, children learn best from watching others. The most powerful thing we can do as a parent if we want our children to have a positive relationship with food and their body is to work on our own. We believe in “fake it till you make it” if you at first need to focus on what you say or do in front of your child.
- Children learn about nutrition and develop a healthy relationship with food from watching their parents.
- How would you describe your relationship with food?
- What are some examples of diet culture, and how have they impacted you?
- Consider your own language about food and bodies.
If you are looking for more support and would like to work with us (tip 1), check out our brand new parent self-paced course. Our course provides resources, information, and support to help you feel more confident and less stressed about food in your home. We offer live Q&A’s with the two of us to support you along the way. For HER Health Collective Members, we offer a 10% discount. So, ask HER Health Collective for that link. We believe you can leave behind the stress and worry of food.
About Sunnyside Nutrition. Our Registered Dietitians provide 1:1 weight-inclusive nutrition therapy, family feeding consultations, and nutrition groups. All of our dietitians specialize in eating disorders and each have other specialties including food allergies, gastrointestinal concerns, PCOS, diabetes, and nutrition & neurodiversity. You can read more about our experienced team of dietitians on our website. We have offices in Raleigh, RTP, and Chapel Hill and also meet virtually.
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Medical Disclaimer: All content found on the HER Health Collective Website was created for informational purposes only and are the opinions of the HER Health Collective experts and professional contributors. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this Website. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, go to the emergency department, or call 911 immediately.
