My first trimester was extremely challenging, as it is for many women.
Besides the normal symptoms of nausea, loss of appetite, and extreme exhaustion, I was an emotional and mental trainwreck. My hormones were a mess and I cried every day, occasionally about something and often about nothing.
While we had prepared to be parents as best we could and had planned for this child, I was still absolutely terrified of being a parent.
There was so much I didn’t know and I was deeply afraid of failure.
I hated my job at the time and was anxious for the baby’s birth so I could take my maternity leave and not return.
In addition, both my mom and my sister had suffered miscarriages and I was incredibly nervous I too would face a miscarriage with this child.
As I took the bus to work each day, I would hold back tears and take deep breaths to fight through the intense waves of nausea. I was counting down the days before my first doctor’s appointment. I wanted it to come fast so I could ensure my baby was okay. That was all I wanted, to make sure my baby was okay and growing.
The day came and I was so excited. I laid down on the small cot, anticipation running through my veins. The nurse rubbed the cold jelly on my belly, and I heard it instantly.
Add a comment