Music has been used in every culture since the dawn of humanity to simultaneously support the wellness of a new parent and the development of the baby. We take it for granted, something now mindlessly accessible with a swipe of a phone. But if we were to consciously acknowledge its power and intentionally use it throughout the day (and night!), how could we improve the modern postpartum experience?
I don’t need to use this space to tell you “music is good!” You likely have your own relationship with music: your favorites, times you listen, ways you even make it. But I would like to help you with my perspective as a board certified music therapist and a perinatal mental health counselor to optimize music’s use as you grow into parenthood.
The postpartum period can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and music can help you express and modulate your mood. If you are feeling off, let music be a way to cope. Don’t feel pressure to keep your playlist “happy” just because the baby is in the room. Music expresses the full spectrum of human emotion, and we do not need to hide that from children. When we are feeling lonely in our sadness, anger, or any other uncomfortable emotion, you can find a song to keep you company.
Music is also a way to share joy with a child. When you have a baby, that doesn’t mean that your playlist must shift to Laurie Berkner and Raffi all the time. Your child will be more responsive to music that you love because they bear witness to the effect it has on you. Whether it is Taylor [Swift] or Beyonce, show tunes or techno: if you are responding to it, you are showing your child what music is for and laying a foundation for a lifelong love of music.
Music is inherently creative and experiential. There are many ways to intentionally use music in the postpartum period, and more still that may be unique to you and your baby.
- Sarah Szymanowski
What makes a good lullaby? Your voice! Babies connect with the voices of their caregivers already in utero. A fetus begins to develop hearing starting around 18 weeks gestation, and by 23 weeks is able to distinguish sounds outside the womb. It is no surprise that a mother’s singing voice is proven to have a regulating effect on the infant’s nervous system, research that is benefiting the standard of care in NICU settings.
When you sing, you are breathing deeply and intentionally. The song you sing can express how you’re feeling (ever wonder why so many traditional lullabies sound so sad?). By breathing deeply and allowing your feelings, you are regulating yourself, which provides co-regulation for your wailing baby.
Don’t remember the words of traditional lullabies? Feel free to use any song that comes to you. Britney [Spears] has been crooned to my children on more than one occasion (“Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know that something wasn’t right?”).
When you do find that magical song that works for both you and your child, lullabies serve another wonderful purpose: a cornerstone of a bedtime routine and a cue for sleep.
Fostering the connection between parent and child can be enhanced through music in the daytime hours as well. Delayed or difficulty bonding with an infant can be a worrisome symptom for someone experiencing a PMAD (perinatal mood and anxiety disorder). Singing, playing, and dancing with your baby will build and fortify the bond. Studies have shown that synchronous movement builds connection and empathy in babies and throughout the lifespan. Think living room dance party!
Music improves cognitive and academic skills in children, and it makes sense that signing up for an early childhood music class is wonderful for their development. But have you thought about how that may benefit you as a parent as well? Learning songs and movement games in a class will empower you to use them at home to reap the benefits discussed in this article. It will also provide an avenue for socialization, to meet other parents and push back against the isolation of postpartum.
Music is inherently creative and experiential. There are many ways to intentionally use music in the postpartum period, and more still that may be unique to you and your baby. So turn up your tunes, let your voice sing out, rock that sweet baby, and start finding the rhythm of motherhood in a way that works for you.
Links in article:
Postpartum Support International. Learn More. https://www.postpartum.net/learn-more/
American Music Therapy Association. What is music therapy? https://www.musictherapy.org/about/musictherapy/
Medical News Today. When can a fetus hear? https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324464#summary
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7375928/
L.K. Cirelli. Effects of interpersonal movement synchrony on infant helping behaviors. Music Perception. https://online.ucpress.edu/mp/article-abstract/34/3/319/62788/Effects-of-Interpersonal-Movement-Synchrony-on?redirectedFrom=fulltext
Zaraska. Moving in sync creates surprising social bonds among people. Scientific American. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/moving-in-sync-creates-surprising-social-bonds-among-people/
A. Miendlarzewska. How musical training affects cognitive development: rhythm, reward and other modulating variables. Frontiers in Neuroscience. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3957486/
Music Together. https://www.musictogether.com/
Sarah Szymanowski, LCMHCA, NCC, MT-BC is a licensed clinical mental health counselor associate, a music therapist, and a mom to 3 young boys. As a mom herself, she is personally attuned to the current parenting climate and empathetic to the experiences of others in this realm. Sarah works with a person-centered perspective, she’s responsive to individual needs, and continually strives for honest and deepened cultural understanding. Sarah is also trained to use a technique called Brainspotting, which can be a gentle and effective way to address trauma. Please visit her website and schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to determine if you would be a good fit!
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