5 Signs You Might Be in Perimenopause
(And What to Do About It!)
By Kate Williams Stone, Certified Non-Diet Health and Life Coach
Here’s exactly what I wish some had told me when I was 40!
Hey there, I’m Kate Williams Stone and I’m a certified non-diet health and life coach who helps women navigate the whirlwind of perimenopause with clarity and confidence. The first step to that process is knowing what (and when!) to expect in perimenopause.
Filling In The Gaps
When I was in my early forties, I thought that I was WAY TOO YOUNG to think about menopause. I thought menopause was a Golden Girls era thing, not for sweet young me!
But now that I’m almost 48, I know you’re in your early forties (even late thirties!) is exactly when you should be learning about perimenopause.
Really, we should have learned about this in the health class about puberty, but that’s long gone, so instead I’ll fill the gaps for you, ok?
One of the biggest misconceptions is that the first sign of menopause is skipping your period. For many women, there are symptoms of perimenopause years before their first skipped cycle.
In fact for many women the first real sign of perimenopause is a change in mood. Mood changes like irritability, depression, anxiety or drastic mood swings – you know one minute you are teary eyed and the next minute you are full of rage. That’s a sign! More on this in a moment!
Perimenopause isn't a disease or a medical condition that needs to be "fixed" or “cured.” It's a natural hormonal transition that every woman will go through, much like puberty.
More Things To Know
Another really important thing to know is that there is no blood, saliva or urine test for perimenopause, there’s no diagnosis. Yes, your doctor can test your FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) but even in late perimenopausal women that’s an inconsistent measurement.
Instead, if you are over 40 and experiencing some symptoms, it’s safe to assume you are in perimenopause. No need to go to the doctor for a blood test! Of course, there are perimenopause symptoms that overlap with other health conditions, like thyroid, low iron and anemia, so it’s important to screen for those before explaining everything as “just perimenopause”.
Perimenopause isn’t a disease or a medical condition that needs to be “fixed” or “cured.” It’s a natural hormonal transition that every woman will go through, much like puberty.
Your body isn’t broken – it’s changing.
So today is a perfect day to start learning more about what to expect in perimenopause!
5 Signs You Might Be in Perimenopause
1. Mood changes: Irritability, anxiety, depression, or mood swings.
It’s very common for women to describe these mood changes as “I just don’t feel like myself”. Perhaps life feels like it’s changed from technicolor to black and white or you have lost that zest for life.
Other women describe more extreme mood swings (because of the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause) like rageful moments to teary eyed days in bed.
Professional mental health support can be extremely helpful during this time. If you have had a history of hormonal mood changes in the past like PMS, PMDD or postpartum depression, it’s likely perimenopause might also be an emotional rollercoaster for you too.
2. Shorter cycles
I know that this one feels counter intuitive. You are headed towards menopause (one year of no periods) so shouldn’t your periods get farther apart? Ironically, for many women early perimenopause starts with shorter cycles, like your normally consistent 28 cycle changes to 24 days, then 22 days and back to 28 days.
If you aren’t already doing so, track your period. Start to pay attention to the changes in the length of your cycle.
3. Body composition changes
Body changes start happening in midlife. It could be weight gain or just a change in your body’s distribution like bigger butt, hips, breasts or stomach without a change in exercise or eating habits.
The body image stuff is challenging, I get it.
It’s probably the most emotional challenge of perimenopause and the realities of getting older. Not to mention, you grew up in the 80’s and 90’s in the peak of diet culture, so the body shaming and “cocaine chic” influence on your perception of what bodies should look like is distorted.
Deep breath here.
Bodies change as we age.
Would you shame your 10 year old for not having the same body they did when they were 2 years old? Nope.
So why do you expect your 40 year old body to look the same as it did when you were 20 years old?
Signs Of Perimenopause Continued...
4. Cognitive Changes
You might notice that you aren’t as sharp as you used to be. Perhaps you can’t multi-task like a boss any more or you walk into a room and wonder why you walked in there in the first place? Those are cognitive changes.
Now the common fearful thought that comes up is “is this dementia?”
Brain Fog is forgetting where you put your keys.
Dementia is forgetting what keys are.
As your hormones are on a rollercoaster, your brain is also changing. The good news is that these cognitive changes settle down post menopause.
5. Insomnia
The final sign that you could be in perimenopause is that you suddenly find yourself up at 3am for no reason at all.
Or you might have trouble falling asleep. Sleep disturbances are very common and linked to the changes in your hormones.
Good sleep hygiene can be helpful. Things like cold temperature, no screens in the bedroom, allowing time to decompress before bed and a consistent sleep schedule.
I know these aren’t always easy habits in real life, but something to think about if sleep disturbances are coming up for you.
So What Should You Do To Prepare For Perimenopause?
1. If you aren’t already, start tracking your period. A paper calendar will work just fine. Your cycle changes are a wealth of information about how your hormones are changing. The more data you can collect, the better!
2. Start writing down your symptoms now. Having detailed information and specific concerns to discuss with your medical team is so helpful. Instead of saying, “I just don’t feel like myself” or “something’s off,” get extremely specific. For example: “My periods are ranging from 17 to 45 days in frequency, and the flow has become much heavier—soaking through a pad or tampon every 90 minutes.”
3. Read a book about perimenopause! By educating yourself on what to expect, you are breaking down the stigma around this topic. Need some reading list recommendations? Here’s a link to my personal perimenopause reading list!
What do you wish someone had told you about perimenopause?
Kate Williams Stone is a certified non-diet health and life coach who helps women navigate the whirlwind of perimenopause with clarity and confidence. Once the picture of health, Kate found herself on a rollercoaster of health challenges in her early 40s—all linked to perimenopause. That experience ignited her passion for supporting other women through this complex and often misunderstood phase of life.
Kate works with clients 1:1 virtually and fosters community through HOT {flash} BOOK CLUB and in-person wellness retreats.
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