Show Notes:
In this empowering episode, Crissy and Cindi sit down with Kate Williams Stone, a non-diet health and life coach, to demystify perimenopause and help you confidently prepare for conversations with your GYN.
Kate explains why tracking symptoms like mood swings, hot flashes, and cycle changes is essential — especially since there’s no definitive test for perimenopause. Together, they discuss the frustrations around the lack of education on this major life transition, how to avoid getting dismissed by doctors, and why documenting specific patterns can make all the difference at appointments.
They also explore surprising symptoms (like itchy ears!), the pitfalls of expensive at-home tests, and the importance of a holistic approach that includes emotional and lifestyle support.
Whether you’re just starting to notice changes or already navigating the thick of it, this conversation will help you track, prepare, and advocate for yourself like never before.
Top Three Things You Will Learn In This Episode:
1. How to effectively track perimenopause symptoms
Listeners will learn why documenting mood swings, hot flashes, menstrual cycle changes, and other symptoms in detail is critical — not just for personal understanding, but to clearly communicate patterns to their healthcare providers.
2. How to prepare for and advocate during GYN appointments
Listeners will get practical tips for prepping before appointments, including writing down specific questions and observations to avoid going blank, and how to confidently advocate for themselves if they feel dismissed.
3. Why a holistic approach to perimenopause matters
Listeners will understand that perimenopause isn’t just a medical event — it’s a whole-person transition that benefits from emotional, mental, and lifestyle support, not just medical interventions.
Episode Notes and Resources:
Kate Williams Stone’s website: https://www.katewilliamsstone.com
https://www.katewilliamsstone.com/gyn (free guide)
Support Mama Needs a Moment! Become a patron through our Mama Needs a Moment Patreon.
HER Circle – https://www.herhealthcollective.com/membership
Transcript:
Crissy
I am so very happy to be joined by Kate Williams stone today. Kate is a non diet health and life coach who helps women quiet the mental chatter, and I know there’s a lot around perimenopause and to start feeling more calm, clear and energized, Kate combines intuitive eating with hormone honoring habits and a feminist weight neutral approach to help women feel at home in their bodies. Because bodies aren’t a problem to fix, they’re a powerful ally to understand, which is such a powerful concept, and is why we love Kate so much. Her work is all about peaceful eating, cyclical, living and embracing the changes that come with this powerful season of life. Oh, and she also happens to be a graduate of Carnegie Mellon’s prestigious drama program. So you know, anytime you talk to Kate, she’s going to bring the flare, which I’m always here for.
Kate Williams Stone
I love it.
Crissy
Thank you so much for being here, Kate. I was getting ready to say it at the top of the hour, and then I stopped myself because I wanted to make sure we recorded me saying this. I have been so looking forward to this conversation with you, because this is something front and center in my mind, and I think a lot of the moms that I talk to feel the same way. We are in a reawakening, or maybe a new awakening around perimenopause and menopause, and it’s sad that it’s taken so long. It’s sad that we’re still so far from having a full grasp and understanding and education for the providers that help us navigate this phase, and yet, there’s an inkling of it there, which gives me hope. So I’m excited and so happy that there are providers like you out there, coaches and guides to help us navigate this tricky space. So thank you for being with us today.
Kate Williams Stone
Oh my gosh, it’s my pleasure. I’m obsessed with talking about perimenopause all the time. I love it. I love it.
Crissy
This is, this is why I enjoy talking to you. Kate is one of our her experts too. So we get to talk with Kate a lot, and she’s always such a fun just bursting of energy. You always are such a joy to speak to. So I mentioned thinking about this a lot. I am getting ready to go and have a gynecologist appointment early summer. I’ve already got it booked, and it’s a sad thing that when we go to see our providers, we are often rushed out of the office, and it’s such a quick appointment that I’ve had all these questions swirling in my head, but when I’m there sitting down on the table with stirrups and all that nonsense, I completely go blank, and I’m like, Just tell me I’m good, and I leave, and there’s so many questions that I never got answered. So when you’re gearing up to talk to your gynecologist about perimenopause. What kinds of things should we be tracking or writing down ahead of time? Are there specific symptoms, patterns or questions that are especially helpful to bring with you to make the most of that short time in the doctor’s office?
Kate Williams Stone
Such a valuable question, and first of all, Crissy, can we just acknowledge like, of course, your mind goes blank when you’re sitting on a cold table with no pants on and a paper over, have a lot to do with it, like, and the bad lighting. And, you know, you hid your underwear under your jeans because that was going to be embarrassing. Like what is so seen, you know, so, like, it makes sense that your mind is going to go blank in that moment. And for that reason, this is why you need to be prepared for that appointment. You can’t just show up like, it’s a nail appointment. Like, oh, it’ll just be fun. And, you know, I’ll have all these informative questions. I want to help you be prepared to have a productive conversation with your medical provider about perimenopause. So I think it’s really important to write down those questions and have them either on your phone or on a piece of paper, but ready to go in that moment when your mind is going to go blank, but the information that you can be collecting between now and that appointment, two key things they’re going to want to know your symptoms. What are your symptoms of perimenopause? What are you experiencing? And I want you to track those. And the more specifics you can give your doctor, the better. So not just like I’m not feeling myself like I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m feeling a little bit off, but instead, like my moods are ranging from like I want to rip my husband’s head off to teary eyed the next day, and it’s disrupting my life, like in this way, I’ve had to miss work. I’ve had to miss this or I’m scared to go do this because of my mood or hot flashes. This is an example, like, instead of just saying, Oh, I’m hot all the time and I’m having hot flashes, like, I’m having hot flashes this many times during the day, this many times at night, it’s disrupting my sleep because I’m awake with night sweats or hot flashes, you know, three to four times during the night, and I’m not getting any sleep, which we also know then affects your mood. So getting those specifics down on paper will help you have a more constructive conversation. Also starting to track your cycle if you’re not already and I think the thing that surprises most people in early perimenopause is actually one of the first changes in your cycle. Can be that your cycles are shorter, not longer or farther apart. So your normal, like 28 day dependable cycle, all of a sudden, like subtly, starts getting shorter. So it’s like a 25 day cycle, and then a 27 day and then a 23 and a 25 right? And if you’re not tracking that, you could think, Oh, well, I’m bleeding monthly. Nothing’s changed, but that subtle change is an indicator of early perimenopause, which is counterintuitive, because you could would think, well, I’m going into menopause, which means no periods, or shouldn’t they be farther apart? But actually, in the beginning they’re closer together for some people, and then as you get into later stage, perimenopause, that’s when we see, like periods every 60, 90 days. So tracking your cycle, and I know right now, like tracking cycles is a really tricky subject, just from a feminist perspective. So if you feel more comfortable on paper instead of electronically, do that like a paper calendar, X it out with a red marker like that’s all you need to know.
Crissy
Kate, I feel I don’t know how I feel at the moment when you said that, I literally was just looking at my tracker, and I was like, Huh. The past three months, my cycle has gotten because I have been very regular, and it’s gotten shorter, but like, a day or two, and then I come back, and I was of the mindset. I was literally thinking, Ah, but it’s like, on the shorter end, not the longer end.
Kate Williams Stone
So that can be an indication that you have missed ovulating that month. And so your cycle is a little bit shorter, but you’re still bleeding, so hormones are changing that could impact your mood if you’re not ovulating, your energy levels. So it’s really, really helpful information to bring to your doctor. Yeah, I love what you said about just really keeping a track record, because I have heard unfortunate stories from friends where they’ve gone to the doctor and expressed that they’ve had this symptom or that symptom hot flashes, for example, and the response has been, oh, normal for your age, no big deal. And I’ve heard a story where a doctor had told a mom that perimenopause wasn’t real, and my Yes, like my mind just exploded a little bit. And it’s very frustrating if you’re dealing with these and looking for guidance and assistance, and that is the response that you’re getting. So I feel that if you go into that appointment and you have a chart of your your mood swings on a scale of one to 10, and your cycle on a calendar and hot flashes and the days and the times and the length, it’s going to be much harder to turn you away and say, Okay, this is something I need help with. This is tangible help.
Crissy
So I think that that’s very one other question I do have for you I recently realized, and this is from an Instagram reel, so I can’t cite the credibility of it, but it said that a symptom of perimenopause, menopause is itchy ears, and I had never heard that before. And I guess my question here is, I feel like there’s a lot of things in perimenopause, like we hear hot flashes, we hear mood swings, night sweats, but are there other things like that that I have ever heard of before?
Kate Williams Stone
Yeah. I mean, the research is like ongoing, but there is a long, long list of potential perimenopause symptoms, itchy ears being one of them. And you know, it goes both ways here, it’s important to acknowledge that perimenopause and menopause are real things, unlike that professional said to that mom, and it’s also important to not say that every change that you’re experiencing is perimenopause, because there are a lot of symptoms that overlap with other medical conditions, like thyroid, low iron, right? So that’s where it’s important to, like, rule out other things before just saying, Oh, it’s perimenopause. Like, that’s the big umbrella for any midlife. Health change, but yeah, there’s a lot of weird. I mean, I had the weirdest health reaction a year ago. My face blew up, like puffy, itchy, burning, dry eyes, puffy lips, like I got lip filler. Like you wouldn’t believe. All of a sudden, I did allergy testing. I did cosmetics allergy testing, nothing came back, but all of a sudden I had this outrageous allergic reaction to something which we never figured out what it was, but the only thing I can connect is that was the first time I had a change in my cycle over 60 days. So we do know that as hormones are changing our body’s reactions, it affects our entire system, and so you can be more prone to new allergies as your hormones are changing.
Crissy
Yeah, I have some pretty bad allergies, and a nutritionist I was working with mentioned to clock your your cycle, and let’s note where your hormones are for when those allergic responses are the strongest. Another thing that I have right now, I have a continuous glucose monitor, which has been very helpful. And I have diabetes in the family, and there’s been some issues around that that I’ve been trying to focus in on. And something I realized is two days before I start my period, my blood sugars go crazy. I wake up in the morning and they’re without me eating or doing anything, they’re up and down. They’re spiking. And it’s it’s happened for three months now, for the two days before my and that causes mood swings. So the hormones and the blood sugar, you’ve got that all combined, the body is just crazy.
Kate Williams Stone
Basically, yeah, it’s amazing.
Crissy
Well, speaking of hormones, a lot of us have heard mixed things about testing. Some say you can get your hormones checked. Others say that it’s not so reliable. What’s the real deal when it comes to blood tests for Peri menopause, should we ask for them and what can or can’t they tell us?
Kate Williams Stone
This is such a good question, and I just want to acknowledge, like, of course we want to have an answer, right? Like, of course we want this definitive lab test answer that says yes or no, this is happening or this isn’t happening. Unfortunately, that test doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist that it’s like a yes or no. But what they can test is your follicle stimulating hormone, but that only indicates that you’re in menopause, so one year, no period after the fact. But when you’re in perimenopause, that FSH reading depending on what day you are in your cycle, depending on what hour you are in in your cycle, that number is constantly changing. So it’s information, but it’s not a reliable like yes or no definitive answer that I know everybody wants. And I want to also acknowledge that in this space of menopause having its marketing moment, and the conversation coming to the forefront. Along with that, one of the drawbacks is that there are a lot of retailers and marketers out there trying to get us to spend a lot of money, and so now I’m getting ads for like at home menopause tests, almost like a pregnancy test, where you like pee on a stick. Don’t waste your money. There are other urine and saliva tests, and I will acknowledge, in my early 40s, I spent 1000s of dollars on one of these tests. It’s part of my story, and becoming a perimenopause coach to educate women, but so like, this conversation could literally save you 1000s of dollars right now, like, 1000s of dollars by thank you to this. Yes, there’s no, like, cortisol urine test that you’re gonna do at home and then send it into a lab and someone’s gonna analyze that, and they’re gonna, like, give you your whole hormone picture. It doesn’t exist. What is reliable, as far as like a diagnostic for perimenopause is your age and your symptoms. So we actually clinically to say you’re in perimenopause, looking at symptoms is more productive than a blood test. So again, going back to tracking those symptoms, that’s where you can really have a constructive conversation. Is saying, like, I’m experiencing night sweats, hot flashes, mood swings, you know, change in body composition, like, all of these things, and I’m 47 years old, like, then the whole picture makes sense.
Crissy
So powerful, frustrating still that there’s not a finite test.
Kate Williams Stone
A lot of people will call perimenopause and menopause a second puberty, or like puberty in reverse, which is not quite accurate, but if you look at how we treat puberty like we know that our kids are going to go through this hormonal change. It’s a normal part of aging. There’s no emergency, nothing’s wrong with them, but they are, like, awkward and have pimples and grow really strangely, and their bodies change. But nobody’s like, oh, something’s wrong with you. You need a test. We need to, like, diagnose this. So we need to treat perimenopause a lot like puberty, in that this is a normal hormonal transition. Menopause is inevitable for everybody, like pregnancy is optional, but menopause is going to happen for everybody who has a uterus and there are symptoms that are extremely uncomfortable for some people, everyone’s experience is different, but we’re gonna all go through it. And there are ways, just because it’s a natural hormonal process, that doesn’t mean that you need to suffer with your symptoms. There are hormonal and non hormonal options along with lifestyle changes that can help get you symptom relief. But then the other thing is that menopause is not just a medical thing, it’s an emotional, mental, spiritual transition. There’s so much going on for us in our lives, and so a medical doctor is just one tool, but you may need other support, like a coach, a therapist, a group right, might be the support I think of it like in a pregnancy analogy, like if you think of your support team around your birth, like I had a midwife, but I also had a doula. They both did different things. They both had different skill sets, and they were both equally as valuable to me, and they could work together in a partnership to support me in my birth. That’s a similar way that I help with my clients, that I think I could be like your doula, your perimenopause doula, that you have a doctor, absolutely, I’m not replacing your OB/GYN, but there is more to perimenopause, especially the emotional pieces and the shifts in identity in midlife that your medical doctor can’t support you through. And if you’re looking for your medical doctor to sit down with you for 45 minutes and explain what’s happening in your body and perimenopause, they don’t have time in that seven minute appointment. So like that’s part of the reason I started hosting the Hot Flash Book Club is because women had so many questions just about basic like, What the heck is perimenopause? What should I expect? What should I do? And I’m like, oh, that’s in books. We can read that together and have a conversation as a community around perimenopause. Where can people find out more about the book club? So go to katewilliamsstone.com which is my website, and our next cohort for the summer is opening up in early May, June for our summer cohort, and that’s a great way to just get some basic education around perimenopause and also Have a community just like your prenatal yoga class, like it’s your perimenopause book club.
Crissy
Does that meet virtually, or is that in person?
Kate Williams Stone
Yes, no, it’s virtually on Zoom. Yeah. We have people from all over the country, which is really, really fun. And I also have a fabulous guide that has a lot of the information that I’ve shared here in a written format called perimenopause. 101, what you need to know before you talk to your gynecologist, and you can find that at katewilliamsstone.com/gyn
Crissy
Perfect! Friends, make sure you check both of those fabulous opportunities out. Kate is a true gem, as always, Kate, thank you. We so appreciate you and all of the wisdom, but not just the wisdom, the calm around the storm of perimenopause and menopause that you bring. Thank you.
Kate Williams Stone
Thank you. So nice to chat with you.
