Oftentimes as women, we treat ourselves worse than we would treat others. It continues to intrigue me when I hear a mom who visits my office talk about how she complimented or assisted a friend because she knew that person needed a pick-me-up or was struggling and then in the same conversation included a self-deprecating comment. As women, we often play the role of caretakers, lovers, empathizers. Yet when it comes to ourselves, we struggle to provide this same degree of love.
Self-Compassion is at the core of everything we do in our lives. It is defined on Wikipedia as extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Research has shown that when we show ourselves self-compassion, we have better health, healthier relationships, and are more confident. Listed below are some tips to motivate you to be kind and loving to yourself.
I often use the strategy of asking a client, “What would you say to a friend if she told you what you just told me?” It is amazing how non-judgmental and caring the response often is to this question. Changing your habits and inner dialogue is not easy. It will take work, but think of the benefits. If you are struggling in the area of being more self-compassionate and feel you need professional assistance, I encourage you to connect with a licensed therapist.
Nicole Wallace is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor with over 20 years experience helping adults and children with overcoming trauma, managing life transitions, and developing coping skills. Nicole specializes in working with anxiety, depression, trauma, life transitions, and developing effective
parenting skills with women and children with trauma concerns, anxiety and depression. She provides caring, non-judgmental mental health services for children (5-12), adolescents (13-18),
and adults (18+). Her therapy uses techniques from a variety of therapy models depending on the client’s needs however, Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Client Centered are most commonly used. Nicole owns her own private practice called Transformation Counseling and Consulting.
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