Ep. 127 Release the Guilt, Embrace the Joy: Reclaim Your Time & Energy w/ Anastasia Arauz

Show Notes:

Moms, it’s time to stop trying to do it all—and start doing what truly matters! In this episode, educator and counselor Anastasia Arauz shares powerful insights on balancing commitments, setting priorities, and releasing guilt so you can reclaim your time and energy.

Inspired by Brené Brown’s values list, Anastasia explains how identifying your core values can help you say “no” without guilt and focus on what truly brings you joy. She offers practical tips, including grounding techniques and mindfulness strategies, to help overwhelmed moms feel more centered and in control.

If you’ve ever struggled with setting boundaries or feeling like you’re not doing enough, this episode will give you the tools and encouragement to shift your mindset and embrace a more intentional, joyful life. Tune in and take the first step toward letting go, finding balance, and prioritizing YOU!

These are the top three things you will learn from this podcast episode:

How to Identify & Prioritize Your Core Values – Learn how to create a values list (inspired by Brené Brown) to help guide your decisions, reduce guilt, and focus on what truly matters.

How to Set Boundaries & Say No with Confidence – Discover small, intentional steps—like saying “not right now” and practicing in the mirror—to help you set limits without guilt or overwhelm.

Grounding & Mindfulness Techniques for Overwhelm – Get practical strategies, like visualizing tree roots growing from your feet, to help you stay present, reduce anxiety, and make choices aligned with your well-being.

Episode Notes and Resources:

Anastasia Arauz’s website: https://www.anastasiaarauz.com/

Brene Brown’s Values List: https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/

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HER Circle – https://www.herhealthcollective.com/membership 

Transcript:

Cindi  

It’s so great to be with you. I am here with Anastasia Arauz, and she is a seasoned professional with a rich educational background and an extensive career in education and counseling. She holds a degree in elementary education, a Master of Arts in Counseling and a post master certificate in couples and family counseling, Anastasia has experienced as a dedicated middle school teacher and an elementary school counselor. You’re speaking crissy’s language here, her passion for helping children and families led her to become a registered play therapist that she used within her own private counseling practice. She has expanded her focus to include coaching. She partners with schools and parents to foster healthy family dynamics and support children’s growth and development. We are thrilled to have you here, and can’t wait to dive into our discussion together, so I’m going to turn it over. Crissy,

Crissy  

Thank you so much for being here today, Anastasia, and I just want to pause and tip my hat to you, because I think any middle school teacher for any amount of time just kind of boggles my mind. And I bowed out to you, because it’s a whole it is unto itself.

Anastasia Arauz  

It is. It’s a challenging, challenging workspace.

Crissy  

I mean, I the whole middle school period in general kind of terrifies me, but yeah, still a few years away. Well, one of the things that I’m really excited to ask you and to hear what you have to say about this is the propensity that moms have to say yes to everything. I talk to countless moms, and I hear this, and I know I do this all the time. I say yes to so many things, and a lot of times I say yes because I genuinely want to do it. It sounds appealing in the moment. I really do want to help support the teachers at my daughter’s school through the PTA. I really do want to lead my daughter’s Girl Scout troop. I really do want to serve on that board. But also, there’s a certain point where we need to start identifying what truly deserves our energy and attention. So how can we begin to do that? 

Anastasia Arauz  

So I think a lot of times as moms, we look at society and what’s happening and what what everybody sees on Instagram or what they’re seeing on Facebook, all the other moms doing, you know. So I think the pressure of society sometimes gives us that feeling that we need to do more, and I think when we can take a step back and maybe do less, or just do what we feel really called to do within our soul, then it’s just going to make a huge difference in the day to day and raising your kids and Just enjoying life. I think a lot of times that’s what really makes that whole mom life so overwhelming.

Crissy  

It definitely makes sense. I wonder, in thinking through these things, when an opportunity comes up and our first inclination is to say yes, or to have that sense of obligation and this feeling of like I should do this, the shoulds. How can we determine whether that is something we should pursue, that it’s something our innermost heart truly does desire? That’s

Anastasia Arauz  

such a good question. And I work with parents on this a lot, especially moms. So one of the things we do is we create a values list. I love values list. And so actually, Brene Brown has this amazing one online if anybody wants to look it up. And so from that list, you pick like 10, and then just keep narrowing it down to whatever it is that your values are. If you can really get in touch with what your values are as a person, as a mom, as a wife, whatever it is that’s going to help you determine of what is going to call to you, what you’re going to be called to do. So I think it’s really just sticking with what your values are and what your priorities are day to day, and that’s what will truly matter to you.

Crissy  

Those values lists can be so powerful. 

Anastasia Arauz  

Yeah, they are. I think they’ve been really helpful.

Cindi  

What I’m gaining from what you’re saying is that a small but powerful way that a mom can start practicing saying no without guilt and feel okay about doing this is by having her values front and center, knowing what they are, and then making decisions that align with those values. Is that correct? 

Anastasia Arauz  

Yes, I do think that. Yes, I do. And I think when you do that, you’re going to see what your priorities are and what really matters to you and what brings you joy. And typically, when you start to do this, you’re going to see where you have energy for it, right? Like you were saying that you want to do all these things. But then when the time comes, you’re just like, Ah, I’m too tired. I don’t feel like doing it. But if it’s something that you really I feel it too, because I’ve done that. But if it’s something you’re really excited about, your energy is going to be like, Oh, I’m so excited I get to do this today. One of the things that I love doing with my kids is going on field trips. Now, some moms might hate doing that because you’re with all these other kids, and it’s a lot, but for me, I know that brings me joy. I enjoy it. I get excited. So that’s something that I really enjoy. But being on a board at the school like that is something I would never want to do that even. The thought of it just makes me tired. So I think all of us have just different things that bring us joy.

Cindi  

That’s really funny that you say that because I’m looking at Crissy and she chooses to do the Girl Scouts, and you know all of that. And I’m kind of like, Ah, I probably should volunteer, I don’t know. And then when the the list comes around to sign up for meals, I’m like, Oh, guys, this just isn’t my love language. I thinking for someone. So I really love that you say that finding your values and finding a way to stay by those values and that that will help to eliminate the guilt and also positively impact your mental health, along with that ripple effect to positively impact your children’s 

Anastasia Arauz  

Yeah, definitely, because if they see you like thriving and being happy and excited, they’re going to model that as they get older. They’re going to see the trajectory you’re taking and hopefully continue that. 

Crissy  

kind of established that I’m the one that says yes,

Anastasia Arauz  

So we so I do too. I do too. 

Crissy  

I know you do moms do? Right? I mean, actually, every mom, I know maybe two different things, but we’re all saying yes to things that at the end of the day, maybe we don’t want to completely be doing on repeat all the time. So when we do say yes to those things, and it inevitably overwhelm creeps in, sets in what is one quick technique that moms can use in the moment to reset and prioritize their own self care, even on those busy, crazy days that we have.

Anastasia Arauz  

 I think, by stopping and just grounding yourself for a second and getting to a place where you can have a sentence that you I need to think about it, not right now. Just start very slow so saying, because no can be very uncomfortable, but by practicing like small, intentional, little ways. So you could be like, start with not right now, it could be no is too hard for you, and ease into it. Sometimes boundaries are really hard for some of us to set, because you just feel that like I really have to do this and you don’t have to share all the reasons that you don’t want to. It could just be a very short sentence. One of the things I do with kids a lot is we do role playing. So if this is something that is hard for you, role play with yourself in the mirror of how you’re going to start, what sentence Are you going to use? What short phrase, do you are you going to have to say if someone asks you to do so if you know this is an issue that you have of taking on too much?

Crissy  

I feel like we hear this a lot, and I’m sure a lot of people do know examples of grounding. But you said the first step is to ground yourself. Can you give some examples of what you mean by that?

Anastasia Arauz  

Of course. So my favorite one to do is, I love to put my feet on the ground if I’m sitting just having them flat on the ground. And I love to imagine tree roots growing out of my feet that are pulling me to the ground. This is such a great way to just stop the anxiety. It stops everything else, because if you’re focusing on that, you can’t really focus on anything else at the moment. And even if you’re listening to me, just imagine your tree roots growing out of your feet and pulling you in. And so that’s one of my favorite, favorite ways to ground myself. I use it a lot actually. 

Cindi  

And along with that, I was hoping that you could help dive a little bit deeper into values. So I’ve done some values work myself, yeah, and I find it challenging to narrow it all down. So how do I know that I’m on the right path, that I’m narrowing it down to things that are really resonating me? How many values do I narrow it down to? 

Anastasia Arauz  

Yeah, because it can be kind of confusing. Because at if you do start looking at the list, it’s very it can be long depending on the list you pull up, and there’s so many different things, so there’s really no right or wrong right, like you could do it one day, and then you might feel different the next if you try it another day. So I think the first step is to pick out 10 to 15 that really resonate with you, and you’re going to feel it just what calls out to you, if you can get it to that 10 to 15, and then from there, try to narrow it down to two or three, and then you can change it if you want. It doesn’t have to be an end all thing. Like you feel like that one. They need to change. They can change over time, but once you get it to those two or three, you’re gonna feel it, and you’re gonna feel that joy, and you’re gonna feel them just connect with you, those words or those those actions during the day. It takes practice. I think of it as like a mindfulness practice. This isn’t something that you might feel organic. It might have to be something that you’re just going to do. Maybe you have a time in the morning that you type for yourself for 10 to 15 minutes. Put this in that 10 to 15 minutes and just look at the words, look at the how they how they make you feel when you’re reading them.

Cindi  

That’s so helpful. Thank you so much for all of that information. It’s been wonderful.